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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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As I said before...
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...a man is safe in the shadow
of the flower of the Himalayas.
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The light of Asia shines
in my inner being.
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Yeah? Well, your inner being
better stand by.
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If you come up with more answers
like that...
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...you're not gonna be safe
under the shadow of a sequoia tree!
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I am the Maharaji Jehru.
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You're Harry Sample!
That's the name on the rap sheet!
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Perhaps, in a different life.
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Now, Harry, you're irritating
Detective Starsky here.
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I wouldn't do that if I were you.
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There's a 19-year-old girl
in the hospital in a coma.
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You did it to her and I'm not gonna
let up until you admit it!
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- Let go!
- You stay out of this!
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Stay out of this!
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Not the chair. Starsk, not the chair.
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That creep's holding firm.
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No, I don't think so.
I think you're starting to get to him.
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You get pretty scary
when you get mad.
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Almost broke my back in there.
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Must be those Bela "Lugoosi" movies
I saw when I was a kid.
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Starsky, it's Bela Lugosi.
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Well, Lugoosi, Lugosi.
I just hope he cracks soon.
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I'm starved.
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You might not be hungry
if you ate right.
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Well, maybe it's all that organic
Japanese seaweed I had for lunch.
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Could've been the sardines you had.
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- Isn't it time we went back in there?
- Yeah.
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Hey, what about tonight?
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Why don't we scramble up
some eggs at my place?
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Hey, dinner, not breakfast.
What about some Italian food?
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No, I wanna go home.
It's liable to rain.
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Hey, I know a great Italian restaurant
down by the docks.
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Fantastic. It's run by an old family...
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You can smoke if you want, Harry.
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It is against the teachings.
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You know your rights.
You can have a lawyer.
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But I am not guilty.
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You know, Harry, I really hate
to see this kind of a thing happen.
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You know the last time that
my partner got riled like that...
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Yes, but...
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...I am innocent.
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Oh, Harry, we've got you cold turkey.
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Let me explain something
about my partner.
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You see,
he's gonna come back in here...
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...and he'll be very calm.
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He'll apologize. Smile.
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And then he's gonna ask me
to go get a cup of coffee for him.
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Now, he knows that the cafeteria
in this place is in the basement.
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It's gonna take me five or six minutes
to get down there and back up here.
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Now, that's a long time to be
in the same room with a man...
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...who's as angry as he is.
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You understand
what I'm talking about?
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I... I am sustained by the faith
of the white snows of India.
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Well, I sure hope so.
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Well, Harry...
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...it seems I got a little excited.
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Hope I didn't tangle your chains.
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Let me tell you something, Harry.
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Hutch and I don't have
anything to do tonight.
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And if it's important to you...
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...we are willing
to take all night. Right?
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- Oh, you got a date tonight, don't you?
- Yeah. Whatever you want to do.
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See?
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Hey, how about a cup of coffee?
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It's your turn. It's his turn.
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- You really want a cup of coffee?
- Yeah.
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Don't you want a cup of coffee,
Harry?
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Hey, hey. Hey, wait a minute.
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You're not gonna leave me alone
with this guy, are you?
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Well, that's up to you, Harry.
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Hey, what's the matter?
You don't like coffee?
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All right.
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All right.
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But you gotta believe me.
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I was stoned out of my head.
I didn't know what I was doing.
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You guys, you gotta understand.
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I mean, she came right for me.
I didn't know what I was doing.
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Yeah, okay.
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I'm not kidding you, man.
You gotta believe me.
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I swear I didn't know what I was doing,
man. This chick just came to me.
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This is Detective Hutchinson
in interrogation room 7.
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Can you send
a stenographer up here?
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We'll have a statement
from Mr. Harry Sample.
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Thompson to setbacks,
handoff to Reiter.
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Big hole, across the 30...
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That's it. Do it, do it, do it, do it!
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- Run out of bounds at the 32.
- All right!
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And there's the gun ending the first
half with the score: Bulls 24, Stags 17.
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Halftime. Boy, this is some great game.
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Outcome still in doubt?
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No, I told you, this game was taped
last week. The Bulls, they were...
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You got me.
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What's the matter, Mr. Smart Man?
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Mr. Intellectual.
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Ain't you ever read one of those books
of yours more than once?
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Touché, Joey. Touché.
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I just wish that damn phone
would ring.
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It will ring.
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Yeah, well, it's been three days
already, man. Three days!
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I'm not even supposed to be
in this state. I got warrants out on me.
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Do what you're told
and you'll have nothing to worry about.
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I'll tell you something else.
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I think this idea of you wanting to hit
Monte in a restaurant is a little wacko.
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It's the only place Monte goes
without his soldiers.
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Consequently, Joey, it's the only place
we can get a good shot at him.
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So why don't you go back
to your halftime festivities, Joey?
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You wouldn't want to miss
your boom-boom girls...
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...and your marching bands.
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Oh, yeah? Well, it's a lot better than
reading that garbage that you read.
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Answer it, answer it!
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Yes.
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This is Theresa De Fusto.
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Yes, Theresa?
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Mr. Monte will be here at midnight.
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Are you absolutely sure of the time?
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Yes. I took the call myself.
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He'll be here at 12:00 sharp.
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Well, then, in that case,
I want a reservation for two.
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Here we go, Joey.
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Anything else you want?
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You know what I want.
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Not tonight, Jimmy.
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You're gonna break this little old
linebacker's heart with talk like that.
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Well, maybe you'd better call the next
time you come all the way out here.
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Please, Jimmy, go home.
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Theresa, you've been on me
every minute since I came in.
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- Now, if it's something that I've done...
- Oh, no, it's nothing you've done.
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I just have problems,
and they're personal.
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- You know them?
- No.
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Jimmy, please leave.
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I wanna close early tonight.
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But the old man's still in the kitchen.
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He's making a special order
for a special customer.
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Jimmy, I'll quit early tomorrow night
and we'll go to a movie.
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I wanna be alone tonight.
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- How about a little service here, miss?
- Right away.
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I'm Tom Lockly. You must be Theresa.
This is my pal.
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I trust there's no change
in the schedule.
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No, he'll be here at midnight.
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Good. Then I think we have
time for a nice dinner.
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You are gonna love this place.
I want you to look at the atmosphere.
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- Ever seen anything so old?
- Think we can find a table?
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Here's a table right here. Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
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- Excuse me.
- Surely.
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Now, what's bothering you?
Something bothering you?
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Those two geeks that just
walked in the door are cops.
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Are you sure?
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What do you mean, am I sure?
I told you I got warrants out on me.
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It's almost closing time.
We don't have much left.
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Whatever you got, I bet it's good...
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...even if it's not on the menu.
- You'll have to excuse my friend here.
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What would you recommend?
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Veal piccata, linguini with clams.
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- I'll have the veal.
- I'll have the linguini with clams.
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All right, veal and linguini.
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- Do you want some wine with it?
- Vino de casa.
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Vino de casa, okay.
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- What's vino de casa?
- They make it themselves.
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- What?
- Wine. House wine.
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Oh, hey.
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Hey, I told you you'd like this place.
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You know what it reminds me of?
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The restaurant your grandmother
used to live over when you were a kid.
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How'd you know that?
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Every time we go
to an Italian restaurant...
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...it reminds you of the restaurant
your grandmother lived over.
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Yeah, I guess it does.
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- I think it's over there.
- What?
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The john.
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Anybody ever tell you
you're a regular shaft of sunlight?
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- Where you going?
- Play some music.
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That's all right. It's free.
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That's it. They've made us. Come on.
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Take it easy. Cover that one.
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Don't move.
I have a gun in your back.
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Now, put both hands
on top of the machine.
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Both hands on top of the machine.
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That's right.
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Just keep both hands
and don't make any moves.
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Now, let's take a walk.
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Let's go to the men's room.
Turn around.
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Turn around.
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Hey, hey, hey!
This must be the place...
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You're not gonna make it, friend.
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Just wanted a drink.
Didn't want any trouble.
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Just do what you're told...
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00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,595
...and maybe nobody else
will have to be hurt.
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00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,470
They said only Monte
would be shot. Only Monte.
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It couldn't be helped.
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00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,873
Now, remember,
you have to think of your mother.
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Stay where you are.
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00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,273
I don't care what your
business is here tonight.
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00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,240
I'm going over to my partner.
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00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,311
All right, go ahead. Go ahead.
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00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,359
I say we waste him.
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00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,077
If you're gonna blow me away,
you better do it now.
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00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:11,030
Joey, the man in the kitchen,
he must have heard the shots.
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00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,238
See if he ran away. Joey.
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00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,551
The kitchen!
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00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,556
Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy.
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00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,796
I'm right here.
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00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,630
It's okay, buddy. I'm right here.
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00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,796
Hey, Hutch...
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00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,516
Hey, we really goofed, huh?
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00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,035
Did you...? Did you get the bad guys?
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00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,435
More like they got us.
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00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,954
Take it easy. Take it easy, now.
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00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,836
How do I look?
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00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,799
How do I look?
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00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,630
Well, one of them bounced off
that thick skull of yours.
213
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,873
The other one found your shoulder.
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00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,308
- The shoulder?
- Yeah.
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00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,953
- Is that all?
- That's all.
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00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,479
Don't go away.
217
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,989
What, now that I finally
got a waitress?
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00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,760
I locked the old man in the cellar.
219
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,871
He ain't gonna go nowhere.
220
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,559
I gotta get him to a hospital.
221
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,876
You said yourself
it's only a shoulder wound.
222
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,117
Look, I don't know who you are
and I don't know why you're here...
223
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,078
...and right now I really don't care.
224
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,392
What I do know is that my buddy here's
got a bullet in the back.
225
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,636
And unless I get some help
for him now...
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00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,798
...you're gonna have a dead cop
on your hands. Do you understand?
227
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,991
Yeah, hey...
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00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,998
Maybe he's right. We ought
to get out of here while we can.
229
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,077
It's too late to back out now, Joey.
230
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,392
Easy.
231
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,874
Is there any place we can put him?
232
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,597
There's an office back there.
It has a couch in it.
233
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,597
Now, take your partner into the office.
234
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,995
Joey, there's a back entrance.
Take care of it.
235
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,033
And if there's a phone,
pull it out. Go.
236
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,318
- Come on, buddy.
- Where we going?
237
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,114
I'm gonna take you someplace
where you can be comfortable.
238
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,833
- Sounds nice.
- Come on.
239
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:38,713
Get me some clean towels,
tablecloths, water.
240
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,195
Take it easy, buddy. Take it easy.
241
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,790
Listen, I could put your friend
out of his misery for him.
242
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,195
Get the hell out of here.
243
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,234
Don't forget, cop, when you come out,
I wanna see your hands in the clear.
244
00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:00,115
Easy. No, no, don't move.
245
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,830
Oh, Hutch.
246
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,356
I feel sick.
247
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,236
Just a second.
248
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,672
One more time. One more time.
249
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:21,671
- Oh, Hutch. Hutch.
- Take it easy. Take it easy.
250
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,032
Hey...
251
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,549
...what happened?
252
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,558
- Would you tell me what happened?
- You got shot, remember?
253
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,876
No kidding.
254
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:37,792
Oh, my head.
255
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,870
You got a little crease.
256
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,877
Hutch.
257
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,832
- Hutch.
- Where the hell is that girl?
258
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,268
Get in here with that stuff!
259
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:51,029
Hey, Hutch, you sound like Dobey.
260
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,588
Sorry.
261
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,072
- Here are the things you wanted.
- Put them over there.
262
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,636
Take your hand.
Keep pressure on that.
263
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,718
- What's your name?
- Theresa.
264
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,514
Theresa, some mess you got us into.
265
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,029
What are you talking about?
266
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,672
"Monte. It was only
supposed to be Monte."
267
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,836
I heard you.
268
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,429
You're talking about Vic Monte,
aren't you?
269
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,232
Gangland boss.
270
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,078
- You set him up.
- No.
271
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,755
You set him up, didn't you?
272
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,232
- You don't know how it is.
- Well, then, how is it?
273
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,749
Vic Monte had my brother killed.
274
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,673
Which brings us right back
to my point. You set him up.
275
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,514
Well, they can be very convincing
when they wanna be.
276
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,591
Who can?
277
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,154
Your brother was family, huh?
Take it easy. Take it easy.
278
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,796
- I'm right here.
- Do you think I wanted to get involved?
279
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,471
My brother was a baby.
He wasn't even 20 years old.
280
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,076
Lady, you better understand
what you've got yourself involved in.
281
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:08,675
Take it easy, buddy. Take it easy.
This is no personal vengeance killing.
282
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,474
Vic Monte is an important
gangland boss...
283
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,198
...and those two men out there
are hired out-of-state killers.
284
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:21,556
What you have done is put us
right in the middle of a shooting war.
285
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,553
No! No, it's because of my brother.
286
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,354
Now, they said Monte
has to pay, and that's why.
287
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,276
Easy, Starsk, easy.
288
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,829
Easy, now. I want
to pick up your head.
289
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,710
Take it easy. Easy.
290
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,675
Easy. Easy. Besides
killing people for a living...
291
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,917
...I got a feeling those two guys
out there might lie a little too.
292
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,475
- You understand?
- Hey, cop!
293
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,278
Come out here.
294
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,554
What time is Monte arriving?
Theresa, listen to me.
295
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,230
If not for my partner, what about those
people out there, innocent people?
296
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,714
None of them will get hurt.
297
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,916
Don't be stupid. You're safe.
298
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,712
They won't touch you.
You're family.
299
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,469
But do you think
after they've killed Vic Monte...
300
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,672
...they're gonna let the rest
of us walk out of here alive?
301
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,395
Now, what time is he gonna come?
302
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,791
- What time?
- Midnight!
303
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,276
Hey, cop, I'm not gonna tell you
again. Now, come on out here.
304
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,710
Okay. Okay.
305
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,797
Now, listen, you stay in here.
306
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,549
You keep him covered and warm
and keep his face cool.
307
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,678
- Lf he needs me, you call me.
- Yeah.
308
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,431
Hutch.
309
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,998
You came close to being
laid out with your partner.
310
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,716
All right. I take it from here. Go to
the bar, get yourself a drink and relax.
311
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,717
Go, Joey.
312
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,715
- How is he?
- He's still alive.
313
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,838
- Too bad all this had to happen.
- Yeah.
314
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,636
- Where do you want me?
- Take a table up front.
315
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,479
I want you visible from the front door.
316
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,956
So if Vic Monte comes in here,
sees I'm a cop, he'll think he's safe.
317
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,590
- You're intelligent. You put it together.
- Doesn't take much intelligence.
318
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,677
Go.
319
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,671
Hope you like the year.
320
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,158
What's a good-looking bimbo like you
doing with a toad like this?
321
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,309
I work for him. We're going
to Vegas in the morning.
322
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,397
- She's my straight lady. I'm a comic.
- Oh, yeah?
323
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,352
- Sammy Grovner.
- Who?
324
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,512
Sammy Grovner.
Maybe you heard of me.
325
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,830
No, I ain't.
326
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,112
We just played three weeks
at the Galaxy Bowl-a-Rama.
327
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,594
You're really hitting
the big time, huh?
328
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,595
Come on, funny man, tell me a joke.
Make me laugh.
329
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,310
- What?
- Well, that's what you get paid for.
330
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,638
That's what you get paid to do, right?
Tell jokes? Come on, make me laugh.
331
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,036
Come on, tell me a joke.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
332
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,629
Monte'll walk in and see everybody
having a good time.
333
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,798
He won't think anything's wrong.
Come on, make me laugh.
334
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,516
Well, give me a second to think.
335
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,915
Okay. Okay.
336
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:16,272
There's this bunch of gangsters,
you see? They're hanging...
337
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,558
- This better be funny.
- Are you trying to get us killed?
338
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,672
- Is that what you're trying to do?
- It's funny. You know it is.
339
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,319
Do I have to sit with him?
340
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,671
You came in with him,
you're gonna have to go out with him.
341
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,433
Hey, that's funny.
342
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,352
Some comic.
343
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,438
Next week you're gonna
be playing car washes.
344
00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:52,715
I think he needs you.
345
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,351
It's gonna be all right. They'll do
what they have to and then leave.
346
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:03,788
Sure.
347
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,111
- Hey, buddy, how you feeling?
- Hey.
348
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,958
- Yeah. Right here.
- What's happening?
349
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,991
Let me check this out.
350
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,993
Well, it looks like we're sitting
on a bit of powder keg.
351
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,515
- Yeah. Vic Monte.
- Vic Monte?
352
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,153
Yeah.
353
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,435
Those two guys out there...
354
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,837
...are planning to surprise
old Vic with his linguini.
355
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,156
- That's not too good.
- Yeah, I know.
356
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,828
When they're finished with him,
we're next.
357
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,554
You really know how
to cheer a guy up, don't you?
358
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:36,316
Well, I do my best.
Here, take a bite of that.
359
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,548
- It's awful.
- Yeah? Okay.
360
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,751
What are we gonna do?
361
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,556
What time you got?
362
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,070
Hey, buddy.
363
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:03,838
No, it's all right. It's all right.
364
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,871
Listen. Here, take my watch.
365
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,433
- Okay.
- All right.
366
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,876
I've synchronized it with
the wall clock there.
367
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:12,429
Yeah? What are we
gonna do with it?
368
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:17,034
All right, it's a long shot, but it's
the only chance we got right now.
369
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,716
Joey, the wild man out there?
He's wound up tighter than a drum.
370
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,115
He's ready to explode any minute.
371
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,914
Think you can handle this? Heave
it against that wall over there?
372
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,197
Easy, easy.
373
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,628
- Give it to me.
- Okay.
374
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,035
- Just give it to me.
- All right, now, do it...
375
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,231
...and make a lot of racket.
- Lot of racket.
376
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,476
Hey, hey, listen.
377
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:49,595
- This reminds me of a film I saw.
- Yeah, what?
378
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:56,034
You know, the bad guy, you trip him
and his gun slips out of his hand.
379
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,754
You grab... Hey.
380
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,918
- Yeah?
- You got any plans after this is over?
381
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:06,314
- It's up to you.
- After we get this all wrapped up...
382
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,193
...we'll go down and knock off
a couple of banks in Bolivia.
383
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:13,920
Okay. Hey...
384
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,953
...when do I throw the first pitch?
- Okay.
385
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:18,559
Five minutes.
386
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,229
That's gonna give me time
to get back to that table...
387
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,398
...and into position without them
knowing anything's coming down.
388
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:30,114
- That's 14 minutes before 12.
- Fourteen to 12.
389
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,038
Okay.
390
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,071
Hey, Hutch.
391
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:40,193
Hey, next time you
want scrambled eggs...
392
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,313
...don't let me talk you out of it.
393
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,588
It's crazy. It's really crazy.
394
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:23,993
I'm gonna get out of this.
395
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,873
Yeah, but how?
They got us nailed here.
396
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,752
I said me, Sammy.
397
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,110
I'm gonna get me out of this.
398
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,950
It's really nice to know
you can be counted on.
399
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,628
- It's all over for you.
- What are you talking about?
400
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,831
Is Las Vegas all over?
401
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,715
A stinking lounge
in a stinking downtown hotel?
402
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,229
Second bananas
to a second-rate rock group?
403
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,513
- It's still Las Vegas, and it's my shot.
- Stop dreaming, Sammy.
404
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:54,714
They're gonna pull the curtain down.
Only, not on me. Not on me!
405
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,794
What should I do? Call a cop?
406
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,150
This seat taken?
407
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,510
No, it's our pleasure.
408
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,395
She's quite a number, ain't she?
409
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,949
You want her for later,
she's all yours.
410
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,876
- Don't I do anything for you?
- Him?
411
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,918
Are you kidding?
You ought to see this guy's place.
412
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:42,353
- Full of books. It looks like a library.
- I'd rather see yours.
413
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,477
Oh, yeah?
414
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,838
Well...
415
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,240
...we could throw the cop
out of the office.
416
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,479
Now?
417
00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,872
Why not?
418
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,318
Why not?
419
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,272
Hey, you're really something,
ain't you?
420
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,596
- I could be anything you want.
- You're luck...
421
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:14,236
- Hold it!
- Cheap tramp!
422
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,954
If you were any kind of a broad,
you'd stick with him...
423
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,151
...whether he was a toad or not!
424
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,397
She thought I fell for that.
She really did.
425
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,673
I suggest you go back
to your table, miss.
426
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,478
Do you mind?
427
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:53,037
No matter what the move,
it's always the wrong one.
428
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,310
Story of my life.
429
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,635
You know, Sammy's been
good to me. Really good.
430
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:06,197
So, what do I do?
Tell him to go drown.
431
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,398
Some hood, some two-bit hood,
sees right through me.
432
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:17,672
I don't know what it is with men.
If I don't kiss them off, they kiss me off.
433
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,998
Why is that? Come on, you're a guy.
Tell me, why is that?
434
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,550
Maybe you have to give a little.
435
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,229
Give a little.
That's funnier than Sammy.
436
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,714
It's not so funny when it's true, is it?
437
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,388
There's one thing I can't figure out.
438
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,991
If Vic Monte is supposed to be
as a big a man as they say he is...
439
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,476
...it don't stand to reason,
him letting anybody get close to him...
440
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,955
...close enough to set him up.
441
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,350
Well, about a month
after my brother was killed...
442
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,357
...some of his friends
came to the house.
443
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:15,075
- They knew I needed a job, so...
- And they got you this?
444
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,280
They called me three days ago...
445
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:24,035
...and they told me that it was
Vic Monte who had my brother killed.
446
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:29,953
They talked
about obligation and honour.
447
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,589
I said I couldn't do it.
448
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,110
And that was when
they mentioned the accident...
449
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,710
...that my mother would have
if I didn't go along with them.
450
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:43,952
Your mother?
451
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,352
Whatever happens in the next minute,
try to stay out of the way.
452
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,590
Stay out of it.
453
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,788
I've had about as much
as a man can take.
454
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,036
Jimmy, don't!
455
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,590
- Go back and sit down!
- Let go!
456
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,594
Lousy bum. I should've killed you
when I had the chance.
457
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,358
Next time I'm not gonna miss you.
458
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,516
When I get a chance,
I ain't gonna miss you.
459
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,551
You don't get no more
chances, big boy.
460
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,433
- None of you get any more chances.
- Joey, will you shut up?
461
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,154
Take him to the cellar
and lock him up with the old man.
462
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,557
All right, let's go. Move. Move it!
463
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,918
Now, miss, get back to your table.
You two sit over there.
464
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:48,473
- Stay out of this.
- He's hurt!
465
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,592
Listen, there's no more time
for making choices. You understand?
466
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,836
You're either gonna
help me or you're not.
467
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,271
- What do you want me to do?
- Is there a gun?
468
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,040
- I don't know.
- Theresa, get away from there.
469
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:01,958
Get these people some food.
470
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,993
While you're in the kitchen,
find out if the old man has a gun.
471
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,918
- Lf he does, where it is.
- Theresa?
472
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,639
Yeah?
473
00:34:09,240 --> 00:34:12,437
I told everybody to sit down.
What are you whispering about?
474
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,995
Well, before your trigger-happy pal
got so excited...
475
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,919
...I thought I heard something
fall back in the office.
476
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:19,991
I'd like to go check my partner out.
477
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,033
All right, go ahead, but first...
478
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,515
...that empty holster,
get rid of it, now.
479
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,514
The big jerk is locked up.
480
00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:59,156
They say that rain
washes everything clean.
481
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:03,433
It's gonna take a lot of it
before we're through here.
482
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,358
I'm not hungry.
483
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,317
- Hutch?
- Yeah, I'm right here.
484
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:27,318
- Hutch?
- I'm right here. I'm right here.
485
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,672
- I'm right here.
- I thought they killed you.
486
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,236
Is that what you were
doing on the floor?
487
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,993
I thought I'd tunnel out, go for help.
488
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,429
- How's your arm?
- It's fine.
489
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,756
Hey, did you get the bad guys?
490
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,635
- I think we still got them with us.
- Oh, terrific.
491
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,593
- You sure your arm's all right?
- Oh, it couldn't be better.
492
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,997
I told you, Gene Autry
gets it there all the time.
493
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,953
- How do I look?
- Oh, you look terrific.
494
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,196
- You bet I do.
- Terrific.
495
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,073
- You want me to sit you up?
- Think you can?
496
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,999
I'll try, you big lug. Come on.
497
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,635
- I'll try to help.
- Move your legs a little for me.
498
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:13,717
Oh, okay.
499
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:19,995
Okay, now, just hold it right there.
Hold it right there.
500
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,156
What do you want me to do now?
501
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,589
I'll let you know, okay?
502
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,712
Right now I think we've
got them on the run.
503
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,236
There you go.
504
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,988
- You stay right there and take it easy.
- I ain't going nowhere.
505
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,876
How is he?
506
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,389
He can't feel a thing.
What about the gun?
507
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,670
The old man says
there's sort of a gun.
508
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,150
- Sort of?
- The part where you put the bullets.
509
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,472
- The clip?
- Is in the back of the cash register...
510
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,389
...and the gun is under the bar near the
register, but I don't know if it's good.
511
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,637
He hasn't used it
or cleaned it in years.
512
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,638
There's no way we can find out
till we try it.
513
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,400
If we work together,
I think I can get the clip...
514
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,631
...but you're gonna have to get the gun
and bring it back. Understand?
515
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,429
- Can you do it?
- Yeah, I think I can. Yeah.
516
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,477
Hey, cop.
517
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:52,951
Get back to your seat.
518
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,116
Don't push me.
519
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,392
I just want a beer. My mouth is dry.
520
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,671
I'll bet it is.
521
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:20,877
You want a beer, you pay for it.
522
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:24,197
You tell him, Theresa.
Those cops are all alike.
523
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,834
They're all trying to get
something for nothing.
524
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,714
- How much?
- 50 cents.
525
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,672
My partner's getting the chills.
526
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,718
I'd appreciate it if you'd get him
something warm to drink.
527
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,273
There's some soup already
made out in the kitchen.
528
00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:16,879
- I'll pay for it.
- Okay?
529
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:18,838
Okay, but make it fast.
530
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:34,160
I bet the piggy put in a buck in the till
and took out a 10 spot.
531
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,238
- We should have had children.
- What?
532
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:44,432
If we had kids,
at least someone would care.
533
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,234
A lot of people will care.
534
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:51,228
The people we know? They won't
remember a month from now.
535
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:56,036
- That doesn't say much for us, does it?
- It just about says it all.
536
00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:01,878
No matter what I had. I mean, if I had
pneumonia or a broken arm or a boil...
537
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,548
...my mother always gave me
chicken soup.
538
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,796
That's Jewish penicillin.
539
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,514
Maybe there's a Polish joke there
someplace.
540
00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:13,234
Nobody uses Polish jokes
anymore, Sammy.
541
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,112
I guess you're right.
542
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,073
I gotta think of some class material
for Vegas.
543
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,719
I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry.
544
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,469
I'm always saying and doing
the wrong things.
545
00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:33,110
Listen, in my life, I've made
more mistakes than I can count.
546
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,436
Yeah, so have I.
547
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,959
Sammy, what I did
over there before, that...
548
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,794
That was really
something else, wasn't it?
549
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,199
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, hey, you...
550
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:53,150
You only did
what you thought was right.
551
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,994
Please, Sammy, don't make me feel
more guilty about it.
552
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,154
Can you say something funny,
make me laugh?
553
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,230
How about...
554
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:10,268
...I love you?
555
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,917
Isn't that a scream?
556
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:46,717
Hey! Hey!
What do you got there?
557
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:49,992
Theresa...
558
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,434
...I'm ashamed of you.
- Why? What's the matter?
559
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,553
It smells so good.
Why didn't you bring me some?
560
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,192
There's some more in the kitchen.
561
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,675
If you want some,
you gotta get it yourself.
562
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,029
Three minutes to 12.
563
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:22,228
- Yeah, well, this time, I won't miss.
- I think you better get in here.
564
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,997
Hold it, cop!
I want you where I can see you.
565
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,714
I'm going back there
and you're not gonna stop me!
566
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:35,396
What are you gonna do now,
blow me away?
567
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,713
There's not gonna be time to pick up
the pieces before Monte gets in here.
568
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,351
Oh, beautiful.
569
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,791
Hey, buddy, look what I got.
570
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,477
- Last go-around, huh?
- Yeah.
571
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:04,719
From what I understand, this thing is as
liable to go off in my face as anything.
572
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:09,675
Well, you always did want an
excuse to get your teeth capped.
573
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,112
- You know something?
- What?
574
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:19,871
- You look terrible.
- Hey, don't let me fool you.
575
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:23,834
- I played Camille in high school.
- Yeah.
576
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,679
Now, there's one more
thing I want you to do.
577
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:31,678
When I walk out of this room,
those guys watch me like a hawk.
578
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,199
What can I do?
579
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:37,075
I can't walk out with a gun in my hand
and I can't get a clear shot at them...
580
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:41,990
...because there are people at this
table. Give me time to get into position.
581
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:47,035
- You want me to create a diversion.
- Drop a glass, throw a tray, anything.
582
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,311
Hey, Hutch.
583
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:53,916
Hey. Yeah?
584
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:55,792
Come here.
585
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,312
I was just kidding about the teeth.
586
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,432
Yeah.
587
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:08,838
See you.
588
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:00,235
Theresa, call an emergency operator.
589
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:04,429
Get the police, an ambulance
and a coroner's wagon down here.
590
00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:17,597
It's all over, partner.
591
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,274
No, it ain't. Hey.
592
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:23,993
What's that?
593
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:27,278
I'm hungry.
594
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,992
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls...
595
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:45,596
...to answer the
many thousands of inquires...
596
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,951
...as to what
Detective David Michael Starsky...
597
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,072
...has been doing in his off time...
598
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,829
...while recovering
from his gunshot injury...
599
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:57,917
...I now present...
600
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:03,558
...the latest graduates of the Sammy
Grovner School of Hilarious Humour:
601
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,752
Starsky and Hutch.
602
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:12,393
- Hello. I've got a dog without a nose.
- How does he smell?
603
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,591
Terrible.
604
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,709
- I warned you.
- You wanna run out of your own house?
605
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,275
Hear about the woman
who got hurt taking a milk bath?
606
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,153
- No, what happened?
- Cow slipped, fell on her head.
607
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,433
- Hello, hello, hello.
- Hello.
608
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:34,315
- Do I hear music?
- That's not music. That's just mice.
609
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,238
Mice can't play musical instruments.
610
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,908
Didn't you ever hear
of a "mice-stro"?
611
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,075
Hello. Hear about the guy
going through Customs?
612
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,077
Asked if he had
pornographic literature...
613
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,748
...he said,
"I don't even own a pornograph."
614
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:56,039
We are killing them. We are knocking
them dead, man, knocking them dead.
615
00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:58,879
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Fantastic.
616
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:00,832
- I told you it'd work.
- Tell you what.
617
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,275
- I'll get them ready for the next set.
- Fantastic.
618
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,630
- Don't forget the gorilla joke.
- I won't forget.
619
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,592
- Good luck.
- You're the tops.
620
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:12,315
Oh, I love you. I'm knocking them dead.
We are knocking them dead.
621
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,029
If you don't start laughing,
I'm gonna join a club...
622
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:19,231
...and hit you over the head with it.
623
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,278
Did you ever get the feeling
you're all alone in the world...
624
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,357
...nobody loves you?
625
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:05,155
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626
00:48:06,155 --> 00:48:16,155
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